He allowed me to say negative things of myself...let me think that I can't do anything right to save myself...that I don't deserve anything that is beautiful or astounding in my life...that I can't be strong enough to stand...
I, once again, misunderstand people, especially close, dear ones...I screwed up situations that have me regret much...
I got mad at myself that I created frustration...I left the house in emotion...I drove in a comatose state at 80 as my painful tears streamed down and smeared mascara on my cheeks...
What is it that is to become of this emotional battle inside of me? Why do I mess up? Can't I do anything right for myself?
God, where are you? I'm needing guidance, because I feel lost on my own...I need your divine inspiration...or maybe a divine kick in the pants...Grant me your comfort so that I can feel great about myself again...For I don't deserve to be yours...I failed everyone again, and I couldn't ask you for your forgiveness for the umpteenth time...
1 comment:
that is the beautiful part, is that none of us will ever deserve to be His, but He takes us in anyway, time after time after time...
sometimes we ask ourselves why...but then again we are but simple humans and can't understand his amazing love.
as for feeling like you're letting anyone else down; i believe it's said that we are our own toughest critic. sometimes we expect more out of ourselves than we should, and thus let down ourselves when really we are beyond other expectations, or even dare i say, beyond their dreams.
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